Living Life As Erik...

My absenteeism on tumblr is a good indication of how busy it has been but I must say I have not given up on continuing to write and post my photos. I’ve been experiencing a lot of things lately and I keep thinking they would make for great posts, but when I get to the keyboard the words just don’t seem to transcend to my fingers. Keep posted though! I’m trying to get whatever I want to say out. It’s just a matter of time… 

After someone picked up the hint this evening, it occured to me how simple things can be when the person of interest isn’t the person that brought up the topic. It seems like a simple mind map in my head but when it comes out in words it’s a useless paper with lines. What happens next can only be described as a “Bull in a china shop” and mainly for one reason. That is because even I myself don’t even know if I want to try and fight for this. We do learn from the past on most matters but if we learned that texting and driving is bad, would we stop driving and texting? The complexity of this all (which I believe I am making this more complicated than it is) is that do we take into account the entire failure of the past event or just the smaller implications that caused it to fail? The fact of the matter is I have been moving in slower than ever before and at some point that china shop is bound to look like a fucking disaster. Only and when I choose to act upon the decisions I make. With every one else’s opinions aside, simplicity is more complex than ever before. Politics, dynamics, relationships and so much more come into play and is it worth jeapordizing one or more of those elements? If complexity was simplicity and not the other way around I think I’d be in a better position to justify the risks I am taking, or more accurately, not taking…

Sometimes I get this notion or idea that I could potentially meet the girl of my dreams at the bar tonight. But then I remember that the girl of my dreams isn’t sitting at some sticky bar shooting 649’s bottoms up being hit on sketchy guys. The woman of my dreams is in bed watching a movie after a long week at work/ school. The woman of my dreams is spending time with her friends and family this weekend and not wasting it away. The woman of my dreams is waiting for that next adventure but will find her own if she has to. You see the woman of my dreams isn’t at some bar, but hopefully thinking that somewhere, somehow, I’m thinking of her too.

Addressing the things we prefer to ignore makes for a hard conversation. Spiked with emotion like nails through the boards, of old houses, old friends and old lives. I open up saying “It’s you I adore.” You say that you’d feel the same way. If it wasn’t for past times, new things to explore, and all of the typical lies people say…

- Ben Somer “Autumn Circle”

There is always that overwhelming sense when change comes around. We all are comfortable with a certain point in time and the shock of the switch always gets the heart beating again. We may not necessarily be happy with choices or selections that are made for us but we have to realize we need to come in with a sense of understanding that maybe this has happened for a reason. Harold Wilson once said, “He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.” You can never go through life being comfortable. Change keeps you on your toes and tests your positivity but at the same time often warrants a lot of negativity. Adjusting will not happen overnight but how we choose to deal with it offers the chance to gain respect and show how adaptable we really are. Overall, I’m overwhelmed, stressed, and uncomfortable but this is the reaction to change I had mildly anticipated with the events taking place. As the rush comes back I know this is all temporary feelings but somehow I can’t help but think I will never get used to it…

I hate not knowing what other people feel and think. It’s so beyond my control but if I could know what people were thinking and feeling at the moment I interacted with them, I would probably take a different approach to how I talked if I was feeling a certain way myself. It’s hard to cover up emotion but some people do it very well. We all have our reasons and without doubt our hidden motives. All transcending into one spiral of “I hope you don’t know what I’m thinking”. Look at it this way, if we were to know what was on everyone’s minds I am sure there would be fewer people we’d call friends and more we called enemies. It would be such an easy way of telling them how you feel. If I am really being honest, I wouldn’t hold back. Weeding out that surplus of people who you call friends wouldn’t have to be so difficult but in present time, right here right now, the mystery remains. What are you really trying to say and how bad is it going to piss me off?  

I tend to often want to judge solely based on my personality and character traits. Like somehow I am the control and everyone is different from me. I think it’s such a flawed practice on determining who is worth while being a part of my life.

I knew an old man that went by the name of ”Grandpa Ed”. He was one of those men that everyone knew and he would always be out in the community. Whenever I would come across I would usually sit with him for a while and listen to stories on end about his adventures and what had happened in his lifetime. I think to come across someone like that is rare and people like that are often overlooked these days.

Time often determines a lot of our first impressions and reactions of people. It seems like the younger generations are not willing to give that time of day to discover and learn about someone else. We judge on clothing, popularity, music, and other materialistic and irrelevant things and we could have had the opportunity to delve so much more into that other persons world. I would love to just sit in a room full of strangers and hear about their stories, their adventures, and what they have learned. Seems like I could learn so much about others to improve myself…